Today the little girls, MG and KT came over to color eggs and have some lunch. Most importantly, they came to spend time with their big sisters. This little party was supposed to be a replacement for Easter Sunday. My sister CA made the unilateral decision that they weren't going to be at my parents for Easter. They own a cabin in West Virginia and decided that is where they were going to spend Easter and spring break. It's going to be the first time the girls aren't together for a holiday. It's awful. Jeanne loved Easter, planning an Easter egg hunt in their back yard every year and inviting everyone for brunch before we had dinner at my folks. It's always a laid back affair at Grandma and Grandpa's and the kids all enjoy playing colored eggs in the front yard or playing catch with the uncles. But this year, they'll be no MG and KT. It's heartbreaking. E is so upset.
I just don't understand why CA and KM are making a point about not being with us this holiday. I know that KM is having a really hard time with taking the girls. She was visibly upset at Christmas and it was obvious she didn't want to be with our family. Going back over the years, it has been quite clear that they don't like to be at family events. There definitely is a history of them not feeling totally accepted as a couple. Jeanne and Mike completely rejected KM being a true member of the family. CA actually has only openly talked about being gay with my parents and the family since the accident. She finally told my mom after it was decided she was going to take all four girls. While we all had concerns about how the fact that they are lesbians would effect the girls in their conservative, close-minded community, we felt that it was more important that they stay together. K and I have always been nothing but supportive including attending their wedding, always having our children refer to KM as "aunt" and hosting birthday parties for both.
I'm assuming that this feeling of not being part of the family is at the core of this, but now that they are totally out and have been given the ultimate sign of acceptance by having them be guardians to the girls, it just doesn't make sense. I get that they are trying to establish new traditions as a family and asserting themselves as an autonomous unit. I totally get that. What I don't understand is why they don't want to be with us. They always complain about coming to family events. Seriously, we are not a bad family. We are fun and enjoy being together. And in this case, the most important thing should be the kids. Why would it ever be in the best interest of the girls to not be with their family and, moreover not be together, especially this early in the game?
Of course, when I tried to talk to CA about this, she got defensive and went back to her normal lying ways. She claims she already told E (lie). She said that changing things up on MG would be disastrous (again lie). I asked if they could go to the cabin on Sunday night or Monday morning and again she said that just wouldn't work. They are making some sort of statement, about what I just don't know The hard thing is that she made this decision without even talking to me about it. I actually innocently sent her a text asking how she wanted to handle Sunday to see if we could get the girls some more time together when she dropped the bomb.
As usual, I got to be the one to tell E and M the bad news and deal with the aftermath. I tried to make it into something positive and asked CA if they could at least come to our house before they left for the cabin and spend time together. I whipped together a little party, egg hunt, boiled eggs, and make lunch for everyone. Did I feel like doing this? No. Did I really have time to do this? No. But it was what was best for the girls. CA and KM just haven't gotten there yet as parents and in some ways are using the girls as pawns to make a point. I wish they would embrace this holiday and start fresh leaving the baggage of the past and starting new relationships from a point of honesty and love.
I'm really going to miss seeing MG and KT on Easter Sunday. I hope this isn't a growing trend and that slowly but surely CA won't remove the girls from our lives. I don't want E and M to only see KT and MG as cousins. They are sisters. They are their own family and we are ALL the guardians of that family. I think in the future I have to work harder to protect their little family and make sure they stay close. Great, another thing to worry about.