Monday, November 17, 2014


So I started feeling lousy on Thursday morning.  I noticed what looked like a large zit on my forehead above my left eyebrow while I was getting ready in the morning and thought, "Crap!  I have a client meeting this morning and look like a teenager!"  As the day went on, I felt worse and worse and the skin in the upper left corner of my face started burning like it was sunburned or windburned.  By 9pm I was in enough pain to take some extra strength tylenol.

Ned (as the kids affectionately started calling the large bump on my head) started getting bigger and weirder on Friday, but I was just too busy to get to the doctor.  We had my nephew James' birthday party that night and everyone in the family took turns examining Ned under the light coming up with a diagnosis.

Saturday morning I woke up with a swollen and sore lymph node below my left ear.  A quick call to the doctors office (thank goodness they have weekend hours) got me in for a morning appointment.  Without even looking at Ned, the doctor thought it was shingles based on all my other symptoms. 

Good news is that he thinks we caught it early enough that the antivirals (huge pills 5x a day) will shorten the length of the outbreak (he's hoping 10 days to 2 weeks).  Bad news is that he thought I'll start feeling worse before I start feeling better.  His prediction was spot on and I've had all the classic nerve pain, chills, other flu like symptoms and fatigue. L announced this morning that Ned now has cousins forming other areas on my face. None of these things work with being a mom to the minions.

This weekend K was in NC with D for a soccer tournament which was not ideal.  A definitely stepped up and took charge of his little brother.  M had a soccer tournament and I was able to get a ride with a teammate so she could sit the bench and cheer on her team, but more importantly keep out of my hair.  Friends (thanks G!) are stepping in today and helping with the kids.  Sister C is getting crickets today for me (I buy 74 every week for the animals) and bringing little boys home from school.

So shingles totally suck.  I feel so old (turning 44 on Saturday). Doctor thinks it was triggered due to stress.  Sigh.

I'm going to try to chill out today and rest.  I have to get some mojo back to function at some level.  It's just not realistic for me to totally step back.  Trying to ignore the underlying reason for this happening in the first place.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

19 years and counting...

Yesterday was our anniversary.

I posted these pictures on facebook.

We got lots of well wishes and statements like "great couple" and "amazing couple."  I thought a lot about the perception people can have when they only see the images we present to the public.  We are the sainted couple who adopted their orphaned nieces.  Not seeing the hurt and tension hovering beneath the surface.

I mostly thought about the couple in those pictures.  Young, excited, ready to take on the world with all of its for betters and for worses.  We were so happy on that day.  It was a great day.

Fast forward 19 years...

The smiles are still there.  The love is still there even though it's sometimes hard to find. The for worses have overshadowed the for betters these last few years.  We've lost our togetherness in the stressful acts of holding our family together.

Bottom line is this...I still love him with all my heart.  He makes me laugh more than anyone I know, and sometimes the best parts of my day are the times I make him laugh.  I hold out hope that we eventually turn this corner and focus on the for betters.

Here's to the next next 19 and beyond...