Wednesday, March 30, 2011


I just got a phone call from a dad in the girls' old neighborhood who offered to have E live with them this summer so she can swim.  Huh?  Did he seriously think we would have E live with someone else?  Like she's really not part of our family but just a kid living with us.  He compared it to having an exchange student.  Seriously?  These people have no idea how traumatized the girls are.  They have no idea the abandonment issues they are facing and how this would derail our relationship with E.  We have to show her that both we're in charge and that whatever she feels, she is part of our family.  I am still shocked by the call.  Not once did they even consider M and how being separated from her sister would be devastating.  Not once did they consider us as a family and how it would affect us.  Ignorant, annoying fools.

I tried to keep my cool and firmly tell him that he has no idea what he's talking about and that under no circumstances would we pass E off on another family we barely know.  I got off the phone shaking.  I'm still furious while typing this.  We already feel terrible about having to take this away from her.  Why can't everyone leave us alone and keep their opinions to themselves (and that includes my family).  Now I'm going to continue to feel bad about the decision and worry about how all those people in their neighborhood continue to think about how awful it is that we "took" them away from their home.  I know I shouldn't care about what they think, but it's hard not to.


  1. It's so hard for outsiders to see the other side of things. I'm sure he was just "trying to help", never THINKING about all the issues you have brought up. To him, this is a way to help a traumatized girl have something "normal" in her life.

    Alas, HE doesn't live with her daily. HE doesn't know the progress and the setbacks and how hard it has been for her to adjust to this new "normal". I'm sure he thought it was a generous offer. Unfortunately, there's much more to this situation than he will EVER realize.

    Don't second guess yourself. You have made a very difficult decision for the good of your ENTIRE family, not for the good of one member of that family. You are a family UNIT, not a family that revolves around one member of that unit.

    I cannot imagine how difficult this all is. I'm so sorry. :o(

  2. Yesterday, I actually got a card from the wife of the guy who called. She reiterated on paper what he already said. I cannot express to you how absolutely infuriating it is. She actualy equated E going to live with them like her going away to summer camp. Basically, the note was to cover their butt for doing something so insensitive but without really apologizing. Why can't everyone just LEAVE US ALONE!