Sunday, March 20, 2011

Another Blow

I just had to tell the girls their dog Ripley died.  He was only 8.

It was horrible.  M screamed and screamed.  The boys could hear it outside.  She screamed at me to go away and that she was going to punch me if I didn't.  Screamed about how everyone in her family dies.  Screamed "Why, why, why" over and over again.  I sat by her side, cried with her and waited with her until she knew I wasn't going anywhere.  Nobody else in her family was going to die. We are not going anywhere.  The words seem so hollow now, but I have to say them.  My poor M.  My poor sweet M.  Life just has not dealt her a very fair hand.

E handled it very stoically.  Nervous laugh.  Questions to understand what happened.  Then back to homework.  Back to her distractions.  My poor E.  She holds it all inside.

And I got to be the bearer of bad news.  That's my job I guess.  It sucked.  I just don't understand why this has all happened.  Why have these girls had to deal with so much?  Sorry, but the whole "it's part of  God's plan" makes no sense to me.  This shouldn't be part of of any plan.  These kids have suffered enough.

But, we'll continue to soldier on.  Deal with fallout.  Take care these precious kids...all five of them.  Do the best I can, but continue to wonder why.  Tonight I wish I could just scream at the top of my lungs, "why, why, why!"

1 comment:

  1. Found you through a comment on a Kelle Hampton post. Being the OCD woman I am, I cannot start a story mid-way, so I am reading from the beginning. I am looking forward to reading of happier times in your newer posts. These early posts are so raw and full of emotion. I have great admiration for you and all you are doing.