I'm supposed to be working right now. Computer on my lap. Ipod in my ears. Work stacked next to me. The heavy snow falling outside, however, is incredibly distracting.
The kids are all home....AGAIN. We just had a 4.5 day weekend. They have been off school in the last month and a half more than at school it seems and this is creating a bit of tension around here. I certainly do love them all, but collectively they are driving me and each other kinda crazy. A bit of a mutual break would be nice.
I totally lost my shit yesterday when I got home from therapy and errands and nobody had eaten and nobody was ready for their respective practices and skateboard trips. This was all despite the fact that another adult was in the house and decided at that point to do some yard work rather than feed the 6 year old and remind the others to get ready. I walked in with a pile of groceries (in anticipation of the current snow storm) and they all decided at that moment to get sometime to eat and talk AT me concurrently. For some reason, I just snapped....literally. I yelled for everyone to get out of the kitchen till I was done putting things away, chastised A for not being able to figure out how to make his own lunch, and barked at E that getting out of the kitchen meant her too since she decided to continue making her lunch (IN MY WAY the entire time)...oh and then she proceeded to eat the soup I had gotten for myself.
I went upstairs after putting everything away, locked the door to my room and sat on my bed with my hands literally shaking. Not sure why I was so pissed. Misdirected anger at K? Too many days together in this house having to feed/entertain/discipline the minions? Tired? Low blood sugar? I'm just a cranky shrew?
The 4 little guys rallied from my little temper tantrum and things were back on even keel the rest of the day. E, however, has been sulking and given me the cold shoulder the last 24 hours. Teenagers sure know how to hold grudges. The irony of all of this being that the day before I had driven her all the way up to University of Maryland (an hour away) to swim one race and she decided to scratch after a bad warm up. Did I complain? Nope, I just said I'm sorry she wasn't feeling up to it and drove home.
I'm going to try to make this snow day (or two given the forecast) to see this as a time of peace and respite. A time of cozy hours on the couch. Warm dinners. Lego building. Book reading. Game playing. Good memory making.
NOT the confining, exhausting trap this house is starting to feel like with all of them home.