Thursday, October 15, 2015

It's Coming

9 days till the accident anniversary.

The crisp fall air and changing daylight are triggers.

Talking lots with L about dying, funerals and heaven.

M is throwing up all kinds of red flags that she's struggling.  Fake injuries complete with dramatic limps and moans.  It's tiring and sad.  My patience is being sorely tested.

E was home for fall break which was nice.  I could tell she is feeling it too.  She doesn't want to come home for the balloon release, but asked me to drive down the day before to see her swim and be with her.  It will be hard to do the trip down and back in one day, but I will be there for our girl.

My brain is a fog.  Physical signs of anxiety stretch throughout my day...anxious stomach, hives, tight chest.

As with the last 6 years the days leading up are always worse than the actual day.  Trying to keep that in mind to trudge through the coming days.


  1. Sending a hug to get you through this week.

  2. I have found the same thing - that the days leading up to the anniversary are worse than the actual date itself.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you all.