Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Between a Rock...

We are starting to come to head with CA with issues with the little girls.  Sister C and I have been talking on the phone and in person in the last 2 days about our worries about MG (age 7), in particular, but the girls' overall well-being.

According to CA, MG is being referred to a psychiatrist because her therapist she was seeing says she can't do anything else for her.  We got this information from my dad, and none of it makes sense.  She is supposedly having huge meltdowns and "spiralling out of control" since my grandfather died in April and father's day.  None of this makes logical sense.  She supposedly has no issues in school and whenever we see her, which isn't that often, she seems completely fine.  The "fits" CA describes sound exactly like a 7 year old tantrum when she doesn't get her way.

What is most disconcerting is that we get no information from CA about MG.  I think she feels so defensive about sharing with us, that we are left in the complete dark.  Unfortunately, though, what she does share with us just doesn't make any sense.  C and I are both raising kids the exact same age AND I've gone through that age 2 other times. None of the anecdotes make sense and at times it appears that she is projecting adult feelings and reactions to a kid.

The strange thing also is that we never hear anything about KT, whose social behavior with the other cousins is often unsettling. 

My mind at 3am starts running down explanations for what is really going on.  Is she having issues?  Why is she still having such severe problems when her original therapist (someone we trust implicitly) graduated her from therapy over 2 years ago.  Is something going on at home that we don't know about?  What about the creepy nanny that we all can't stand?  Is all of this just a bunch of lies from CA in order to get attention and sympathy from all of us? 

The big problem is that we (C, S and I) feel completely paralyzed.  If we try to approach CA about it, we all worry it's going to backfire again and she'll pull the girls further away.  I can't afford to do this again for E and M's sake.  My parents are absolutely no help at all.  C got screamed at by both my parents last night when she mentioned to them her doubts about CA's explanations.  My mom's mental health right now is so fragile that she wants to live in la la land and not want anything to be wrong.

I could stick my head in the sand with a perfectly reasonable excuse of having too much on my plate.

But these little girls are E and M's sisters.  They are my sweet, funny nieces who didn't deserve any of this and do deserve and happy, fun-filled childhood.

They are Jeanne's babies.

The one thing I do know is that I'm sick of worrying and complaining.  Something needs to be done and I hope we have the courage as a family to address it.


  1. Wishing you peace as well as courage. No easy answers but I'm sure you will find a way through.

  2. Wow that sounds hard. Maybe if there is a way to approach CA in a way that somehow doesn't put her on the defensive--maybe that offers her something. I don't know. I don't envy your position.

  3. I'm so sorry to hear that things still haven't improved at all with CA. No advice here, just hugs.

  4. I wish I had something to offer other than sympathy and prayers. I'm so so sorry things continue to be so awful.