Friday, September 14, 2012

Just Write

So I have a few minutes this morning.  I just ordered fleeces for the big kids online (they hate hate hate big bulky winter jackets, so rather than fight it I ordered extra warm fleeces).  I need to run to Tar-jay in a few, but there is no rush. 

I thought that this is a perfect time to write a post.  Ideas for my blog pop up in my head throughout the day.  However...

I have no idea what to write.  I'm a bit out of practice.  Writing about a certain theme or event that highlighted itself during the day has always been my approach whether it's a personal reflection or something that happened with the kids.  I don't know why writing a list of random thoughts bugs me.  I actually enjoy reading blog posts in that fashion.  Little snippets of what is on their mind or stuff going on in their life.  I love candid pictures.  Maybe I want this space to be different, writing pieces that involve serious thought and time to write.  Do I want to be a writer not just a blogger?  Is there a difference?  Some of my favorite bloggers (Stirrup Queens, Korinthia) write pieces that could stand alone outside of their life's context.  But some of my other favorites (Enjoying the small things, Rach, Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker) do a beautiful job weaving their everyday lives into moments of clarity and insight for me as a reader.  Sometimes I just like a good story.

But back to my current problem.  I have not idea what to write. So here's another list of random things going on.

1.  My dad really came through on the cemetery / memorial issue and now we will possibly get a waiver for a tree AND we're probably going to replace both markers with a larger more personal one customized by our family.  I can't wait to tell E tonight (wow that sounds weird and depressing).

2.  Kindergarten is going very well with L.  He is happy to go every day and has only missed getting a sticker for good behavior once.  He had "refused" to complete an activity that involved lots of little, detailed cutting.  It was hard for him, he got tired, and in tune with his personality he simply refused to finish.  We talked about it after school and we haven't had any other incidents.  He is pretty tired once the day is done. It's a good tired born from playing, learning, and being a big boy.  I'm so proud of him.

3.  Having a kid with learning issues is a bigger challenge than I ever anticipated.  I tend to have to focus so much on M's emotional issues, that her ADHD and LD are sometimes forgotten.  We're having her student assistance plan meeting next week and I hope I'll have time to do some more research between now and them to construct a better plan that helps her more this year.  I'm not thrilled with our school's resource teacher and feel like I have to be a lot more informed to be the best advocate for M.

4.  The girls are supposed to go to a family wedding in Indiana for their cousin on their dad's side of the family.  They are understandably excited and have been talking about it for months.  The Indiana relatives are being completely unhelpful and aren't taking care of the girls at all.  I get that it's a wedding and that is their focus, but for once it would be nice if they tried at all to incorporate the girls in their lives.  CA and KM are going to bring the little girls and we'll have the big girls stay in an adjoining room at a hotel.  What could be an opportunity for letting them share in their other family is turning into more of a crisis management exercise to temper the girls' disappointment in not being part of the event and dealing with their frustration with CA and KM.  It's never easy.

5.  Teenage angst.  Enough said.

6.  K is planning an anniversary trip for us at the end of November to Naples, FL.  I'm hoping it will be a chance for us to recharge individually and together.

7.  I took leave last week to give myself a break from the work drama and get our house squared away.  I was a bit ambitious in my plans.  I did get three rooms done and most importantly got our family office / computer room cleaned out.  It was a dumping ground for crap from my sister's house and boxes of the girls childhood things (books, etc) that needed a storage place in our house.  I also started a wall of family photos in that room and it looks really good.  Yay me!

8.  We have 5 soccer games, 1 baseball game and a team bake sale this weekend.  Somehow we'll get everyone where they need to be and squeeze in mass and feeding the masses.  I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

9.  No progress on medication.  I can't find a psychiatrist that my therapist knows on my insurance.  I'd rather not have to pay out of pocket.  The momentum of my difficult decision is slipping away.  Sigh.

Well, I did it.  I wrote something. Not sure it's very interesting or thought provoking, but then again, who am I writing this blog for anyway?


  1. Such a good call to order the fleeces.

    What about a psych. Your therapist doesn't know ? They just write the script and monitor you.

  2. Thank you for the lovely compliment. And I can't think of a post of yours I didn't find interesting. Great news on the markers! Glad kindergarten is going well. And I wish I could take a week to just get my house in order--that must have felt great getting a few rooms tackled!

  3. I haven't commented before (sorry!), though I've been reading your blog for awhile and really enjoy your writing. I just wanted to say that I think starting on an antidepressant prescribed by your internist is a good way to get started, while you still have momentum, especially since you have a therapist who can also help you monitor the medication effects as well as any side effects. In full disclosure, I have been on a medication for depression that helped me a lot (prescribed by my internist) and also, I am a general internist myself and start patients on new medications for depression without psychiatry quite commonly. Just something to consider. Glad that kindergarten is off to a good start, and congrats on taking some time to get your house organized!

  4. Your blog is YOURS to do with as you choose. Sometimes I have to remind myself that my blog is MY journal, that I'm writing it for ME (okay, and for some family members and friends, but mostly for me). You should take this blog and run with it, make it yours and do what feels right. Thank you for the lovely compliment, BTW. :o)

    I thoroughly enjoy a good list blog as it's a great way to get a snapshot of what's going on.

    Hooray for K going so well! Hooray for anniversary getaways and well-needed days off. Oh, and for getting those rooms taken care of. That must feel like a huge burden lifted. :o)

    And, as awful and strange as it is, celebrate the good news from the memorial. It IS good news, and I'm sure E will be utterly thrilled.

    LD's are SO hard to work with--they can be utterly exhausting. I used to bend over backwards, sideways and upside down to help my babies with difficulties. I sympathize.

  5. How sweet of you, Peg! I love you blog, just as it is. I love to see your thoughts flow as you process your life and grief. I agree with the above posters - your blog is yours to do with and make in to whatever it is that you need right then. I, or one, am grateful for it and you :)