I've wanted to write the last week. I really have.
Life around here has been a lovely combination of ridiculous, crazy, and the normal stress.
Yesterday K sent me an email in which he wrote, "Sweet Jesus. This has been a really bad week."
For some reason my first reaction was laughter. He pretty much hit the nail on the head.
Here's a little smattering of what's been going on...
1. We're in the middle of end of the year and sports season crazy. The 6th graders have final exams (cumulative for the year) which has sent them into a frenzy of stress, especially M who with her ADHD struggles. So far, so good though and her social studies teacher ran up to me after school yesterday to tell me she got a 90 on the final. Yay! She whispered that A got a 100 like it was no big deal. I was a happy for both kids, but it was a weird moment with the downplay of A's accomplishment.
Soccer tryouts have also been stressful since K is A's coach and he might have to make some tough cuts. D is also in baseball playoffs and trying to do tryouts too. He also made the older all-star team for baseball. He skipped tryouts for a baseball playoff game on Tuesday and his soccer coach was not pleased. This really pissed K and I off and has made K very anxious about D's position on his team. We're not 100% pleased with his soccer coach, but we feel kinda stuck in this club since it's based close to home and we get a lot of help with rides, etc. None of the sports stuff is that much of a big deal, but it's added to the stress around here.
2. The biggest drama has been K's sister SA. She and her husband have been having problems for years. She always complains about him, but we really didn't think things had gotten that bad. They have 4 kids who are close to our kids, especially their youngest R. She called me yesterday to tell me that she definitely now wants a divorce, she's having an affair with an older married man with a kid that she met 3 months ago and that her husband had an affair 7 years ago with a random stranger in Sweden. Huh? My in laws are devastated. None of us know how to react. Talking to her was like talking to a 15 year old. She isn't thinking of her kids and is acting completely irrational. I was shocked and baffled. She was sobbing throughout the conversation on and off. I want to be there for her, but seriously I'm not sure how much empathy I can muster or emotional support I can offer when I find her actions selfish and morally reprehensible.
3. The girls continue to be understandably trying. I met with M's therapist for 45 minutes yesterday which was both good and depressing. In moments, I'm leaving for the depression evaluation with E. I'm hoping for the best. If I'm totally honest, I am just completely SICK of therapy on all counts. It's emotionally draining which can be physically exhausting.
4. K and I went away last weekend for a wedding. I missed the boys. I welcomed the break from the girls. I feel so guilty writing this, but it's the truth. Oh, and while we were gone, the basement flooded.
5. My mom is falling apart physically and emotionally. She's not taking care of herself and basically given up. C and S are trying to help as much as possible to get her to try. My dad is at his limit of patience. This should be an entire post in itself when I have the time and fortitude to write it. It's depressing. Our family has lost so much that we CAN'T lose my mom. She is only 70 years old. Living with two debilitating diseases, combined the lost of Jeanne and Mike and all of our drama, has been too much for her to handle. She has retreated from life. Sigh.
So life continues to be crazy. There has been lots of normal, fun and laughter too (A and M have been particularly hilarious studying for exams together) . For K and I life continues to be overshadowed by the stress of family life and adult concerns.
We'll continue to trudge on. Deep breathing. Diet cokes when needed. Distracting juvenille fiction (the latest Rick Riordan). Playing soccer tennis with the kids at the park. Snuggles with L. All things that help me keep moving forward. Sometimes it's the small things when the big things suck so bad.
well. Um. Well. What a week. I'm glad it's over. Whew.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy the appointment with E's counselor went well. I sympathize with her in a way. As we move further and further away from our time with Hannah, my memories of her are fading. Combine that with a little girl who has no surpassed her sister in age and those memories I had are in some ways being supplanted by memories of Lil. It's hard. Loss is hard and it sucks. For everyone.
I think you all are on the right track if you just keep loving her. That's all you can really do.