My friend Connie died this morning. She had a brain tumor. It took about 1 year from diagnosis to today for her to die, with lots of hope, despair, pain and prayers in between. She has 5 boys. Her youngest three around the same age as our guys. I am so sad, but....
...her boys got to say good bye to their mom. They still have their dad. Have I become that cynical and self-absorbed that I'm comparing our loss? Our loss is so consuming, it's hard to see other people's.
I really wanted to go see her in the past week. I just couldn't. I just didn't think I could do it emotionally. I guess I thought my situation would make me stronger, but it hasn't really panned out that way yet.
K and I can be such a support to Bart, Connie's husband, in the next months. We are living with grieving children. Our boys are friends. I just don't know if I'm up for it. I'm barely holding it together over here. Or maybe helping someone else will make me feel better. Who knows. All I know is that death just sucks and I still don't buy the "they're in a beter place" line. Connie should be home with her boys. Jeanne and Mike should home with their girls.
I guess I'm still kinda lost when it comes to loss.