Quickie

Quick update in bullet point.  Been really busy this week and haven't had time except at 11pm and that's be reserved for a book and my bed.  In no particular order:

--Baseball season has started!  D had his first game this week and sitting in those bleachers made it feel like all was well in the world.  With limited of number of practices due to bad weather (absolutely no infield practice at all), he was great.  2-2 at bat and one walk, 5 stolen bases and 2 runs scored. This is his last year in little league so it's fun to see him as the "big kid" in majors.  L starts machine pitch tomorrow and has only had one 50 minute practice and has never hit off the machine.  Yikes!  He's excited but a little nervous because those machines fling that ball in pretty fast.  He plays with his cousin W (and best bud) so he's mostly happy to be with him.

--Soccer is also back in full force.  We have 6 games this weekend.  Double Yikes!  Somehow we make it all work.  I know people must think that we bring it on ourselves having the kids do all these sports, but please remember that if it was just the boys we'd have it pretty easy. The boys were old enough that we couldn't tell them their sports had to be curtailed due to the girls moving in AND we inherited the girls' activities too.  My kids are also good athletes and developmentally they are all playing at the right levels for their abilities.  This means three in travel soccer.  K coaches A's team which makes things a bit easier, but it also limits our flexibility because I always have to handle D and M if there is a conflict...AND he's always coaching which means he can't help out too much with practices during the week.

--E is receiving an award at the senior night dinner for her swim club on Sunday.  It has been a really weird thing.  Her coach called to tell me Tuesday (in strict confidence and promises I wouldn't tell her), and it was a really annoying conversation.  First, it's the top award for her club.  This is shocking.  She is not swimming well.  She hasn't been on a club relay team in 4 years.  She bowed out of Nationals this year because she was so stressed out.  Seriously, she has been a basket case this swim season and not performed well.  The award wreaks of pity.  The girls she beat out for the award are much, much better swimmers one of which is going to Stanford and will probably swim in the next Olympics.   He has been a huge pain in my rear the last year with condescending conversations and acting like somehow we are "co-parenting" E. Talks with him always make me wonder what E tells him. In short, he drives me crazy.  This time he chastised me for not being excited enough.  My "that's great!" was followed with him saying, "No you don't understand this is amazing!" He also had to point out that it includes a $500 cash award.  Little does he know (which he doesn't need to know) that E has hundreds of thousands of dollars at her disposal for college, etc. and this isn't even a drop in the bucket.  I guess what bothers me is that E needs to learn that sports aren't about all the awards, etc. but just about doing your best and having fun.  She needs another award like a hole in the head and I honestly don't think she deserves it.  Also, not once during our conversation did he mention K and I coming to the dinner.  E told me in the morning that parents don't come, then magically in the afternoon she said I could come (K has a game with A).  Her coach's attitude is one of many in a long line of people (including some in my family) who don't act like we are E and M's parents now.  It is infuriating.

--M.  M. M. She is so trying.  We have had a really tough ADHD and anxiety week. Fake injuries, whining, excuses, argumentative, aaaaaah!!!  Needless to say, it's been rough..

--I have been in a really bad mood this week.  Short with the kids.  Snapping at them and limited patience.  Way too much yelling. I've been completely cognizant of this fact, but that recognition hasn't curbed the behavior.  I worry about how the cumulative stress is affecting me both mentally and physically over all this time. I actually thought yesterday that I can see how people become alcholics. Unfortunately for me, one beer and I'm asleep, so that's not gonna work.  That need for escape, though, sounds like bliss.  For now, trader joe's cookie butter with honey wheat pretzels and a diet coke seem to be a reasonable solution.  Pathetic.