Feeling lost today.
K left last night on a 4 day bachelor party for a friend that I can't stand (next door neighbor growing up who is 6 years younger and a jerk).
I thought he was leaving on Friday and back Sunday. He let me know via email yesterday at noon that he was leaving directly after work in order to make it easier on the groom since EVERYONE was going on that flight.
Seems I was also the only one who didn't know it was a cruise to the Bahamas.
My first reaction...anger. Second reaction...I hope he brought his medicine. Did he remember block?
He just called and I couldn't even properly articulate how pissed and hurt I am. I am at work so I can't really cry and scream like I want to. At least it's behavior I'm used to. Whenever he knows what he is doing is wrong and selfish, silence is usually his tactic. Better than having to NOT do what he really wants. Heck, I want to go on a cruise to the Bahamas, but I could never do that in a million years.
In his heart, I know he is a good man. He is just sometimes so selfish and never seems to put me first. He knows I always will get things done and eventually my anger will subside. I hate being mad at him. In so many ways, he is just like his dad. Doing his own thing and always assuming all the fires at the homefront are covered.
Throw into the mix holiday blues with the girls, continued scariness with our neighborhood friend's daughter, stress about getting everything done for Christmas (no shopping done for cousins AT ALL), and K's timing is perfect.
I don't have therapy till Monday and I've found my usual in person outlets absent. I just needed to get this out and guess what internet friends? You get my pitiful venting.
I'm tired. I'm sad. I just feel so alone.