Thursday, December 19, 2013


Feeling lost today.

K left last night on a 4 day bachelor party for a friend that I can't stand (next door neighbor growing up who is 6 years younger and a jerk).

I thought he was leaving on Friday and back Sunday.  He let me know via email yesterday at noon that he was leaving directly after work in order to make it easier on the groom since EVERYONE was going on that flight.

Seems I was also the only one who didn't know it was a cruise to the Bahamas.

My first reaction...anger.  Second reaction...I hope he brought his medicine.  Did he remember block?

He just called and I couldn't even properly articulate how pissed and hurt I am.  I am at work so I can't really cry and scream like I want to.  At least it's behavior I'm used to.  Whenever he knows what he is doing is wrong and selfish, silence is usually his tactic.  Better than having to NOT do what he really wants.  Heck, I want to go on a cruise to the Bahamas, but I could never do that in a million years.

In his heart, I know he is a good man.  He is just sometimes so selfish and never seems to put me first.  He knows I always will get things done and eventually my anger will subside.  I hate being mad at him.  In so many ways, he is just like his dad.  Doing his own thing and always assuming all the fires at the homefront are covered.

Throw into the mix holiday blues with the girls, continued scariness with our neighborhood friend's daughter, stress about getting everything done for Christmas (no shopping done for cousins AT ALL), and K's timing is perfect.

I don't have therapy till Monday and I've found my usual in person outlets absent.  I just needed to get this out and guess what internet friends?  You get my pitiful venting.

I'm tired. I'm sad. I just feel so alone.


  1. I usually just lurk here (came from Rachael's blog), but I wanted to let you know you are heard. I wish there was a way to help you other than to let you know I'll be praying for you and your family. This is a rotten weekend for him to be gone! :( I hope things go more smoothly than you expect.

  2. Wow. That's kind of unbelievable. Do you get a 4 day vacation? If you decide to up and take one here in Milwaukee I'll put you up and show you around. It's not the Bahamas, but you wouldn't have to cook or clean or look after anyone. (I'm so sorry. That's beyond frustrating to be taken for granted like that.)

  3. I'm so sorry! I would be over the top irate!!! Your feelings are 100% warranted. Sending you vibes of peace, calm, and productivity. May you find the perfect gifts quickly!!!

  4. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, and that K left for so long with very little warning. Hopefully we here in internet-land can help hold your map for, and with, you.

  5. Ugh! Poorly timed incidents of spousal selfishness are the worst! I'm so sorry.

  6. That is so frustrating. I can appreciate the silent (and very passive aggressive) I know this is wrong but I am doing it anyway. Clearly, he lacks the maturity to have the necessary conversations (and negotiations) that would normally be involved for one's spouse to take so much time (particularly near a holiday) for themselves. I think you have to remind him (if he is willing to communicate at some point about this) that regardless of whether the girls were in the picture or not this would be unacceptable. It seems to me (as a very much outsider) that he uses having the girls in your family as an excuse for his bad behavior. Just because things are stressful and overwhelming (which he seems to ignore is true for you both), doesn't mean that he can just check out of it all and leave you holding the responsibility for everything. Sending you strength and good wishes. I hope you can find some time this weekend to just enjoy the kids (look at lights, watch a movie, eat junk food) and put all the burdens down for a few minutes. Peace

  7. I am truly speechless and BEYOND pissed at your husband! I think it's because I'm putting myself in your shoes and can't imagine my husband taking off for FOUR DAYS to the freakin' Bahamas and leaving me behind to deal with the stress of the holidays on top of two blue little girls (I don't care how big E is, she's still a "little girl"). I honestly think I would have to murder him. Seriously.

    Moms can't imagine taking a four day(!!) vacation and just assuming the other adult in the home would take over and all would be well. What in the world?!?


    Should YOU decide YOU need a four day getaway, come on down. You know it's lovely down here. :oP

    I hope things are more settled now and I'm praying for peace and comfort for you all. This time of year sucks so hard when you are grieving...

    HUGS and hang in there!

  8. I'm a little bit speechless right now. I can't think of much to say other than what others have already said. Your feelings are valid (mostly b/c they're your feelings and you have a right to have them, even if he doesn't agree with them!). I'm hoping you and he can have a "come to Jesus" meeting when he returns, one in which you both feel heard. ((hugs))