Wednesday, December 28, 2011

12 Drummers Drumming

In the spirit of the 12 days of Christmas (and the fact that D plays percussion in the school band), here are 12 highlights from our family Christmas:

1.  Two days before the big day, we had a very big day in our house.  L finally pooped on the potty.  He is extremely proud of himself and is telling everyone we see.  We went to our friends' house on Friday night and he walked in and stated very loudly, "I am four now and I poop on the potty!"  Last night he even went all by himself, including wiping and flushing.  While I am extremely happy about this latest development, I do have a pang in my heart as our baby is growing up.

2.  For Christmas Eve, we always go to mass at my parents' church and then back for a family dinner.  It used to be at Jeanne's house, but that responsibility has now been passed on to us.  I really don't mind.  Our house has the best space and it's nice to just be home and not have to leave after dinner.  Mass was beautiful, and C and I both found ourselves crying during the opening hymn of O Come All Ye Faithful.  Jeanne loved this service and we all used to sing and look down the pew at each other smiling.  It's at these moments I miss her most.  The evening ended with C's son W splitting his lip open and a hurried exit by all.  E was practically gitty and even helped L sprinkle reindeer food in the front yard.  We all always feel our best when we are together as a family and this was no exception.

3.  K and I were up till 2am getting the presents wrapped and everything done.  Some of this was my fault, since I let E stay up a little later than the other kids.  Sound of Music was on and we both LOVE that movie.  It was nice to just sit with her on the couch and giggle at the antics of Friedrich and those silly Von Trapp kids.  So I really didn't start wrapping till after 10 and since some of the presents were in huge boxes, it took me FOREVER.  Needless to say, we both took the "nobody bother mommy and daddy until 7:30am on Christmas morning" very seriously. 

4.  The morning of opening was a blur.  The kids were adorable.  As opposed to last year, the girls were both good.  E especially was sweet with all of the presents she got. Things got a bit weird when the girls opened their present from their Grandpa in Indiana.  They were quilts with pictures of their parents and them as a family.  Really sweet.  E loved it.  M declared she didn't want to look at it.  Typical with the places they both are in their grief.

5.  We headed over to my parents on Christmas morning for more present opening.  It was mostly fun.  I was a bit annoyed by C and again her present giving to the girls.  On her Santa list, M wanted these mini dress forms she had used at fashion camp over the summer.  The fabric tucks in the back and it's easy to make fashions quickly.  I had told C about this and my excitement when I tracked them down online.  It was one of M's big presents from Santa.  Not only did C get them for her too, she got an accessory set, a bigger set that we got and then two expensive books on famous dresses.  It was way too much.  We are trying so hard, especially with M, to get her away from the idea that she "deserves" special presents and things.  It also just stunk that C's gift overshadowed something that I was really excited about giving M.

6.  Like last year, E decided to spend the day with my parents and do dinner with my family.  The rest of us went home around noon, ate lunch, played with toys, and napped before heading over to my in-laws for dinner.  Unlike last year, though, I could tell she was torn about coming home with us.  It's good for her to spend the time with her little sisters and I think she went to the cemetery with my Dad, but I think she feels more settled with us and felt the pull to be with us.  It makes it annoying to have to go over there and get her to bring her back to my in-laws for desert, etc. but it's part of the job I guess.

7.  I was pretty grumpy at my in-laws.  Normally the craziness, etc. is fun and I'm fine with it.  I was pretty tired though and my nerves were a bit raw.  Everyone kept asking about E and why she wasn't there.  They just don't get it.  I'm also not a big gift card fan for presents.  I don't care about the cost of a gift, I just always like the feeling that someone thought of me and something I might like.  We got two gift cards to restaurants from our Secret Santa and K's parents.  I don't want to complain, but they might as well just have put cash in an envelope. While I pretty much had a terrible time, the kids had an absolute blast with their cousins.  That is what is most important.

8.  K got me a Nook Color for Christmas.  I knew it was coming since I gave him a very big hint.  I didn't want another hoodie (same thing from him for the past three Christmas, birthday and anniversary presents).  It is awesome.  The kids, K and I have been having so much fun with it.  I can read my blogs at night in bed now!  Yay!  Angry Birds has been getting the most play time on it...L is a master :)

9.  Yesterday I drove the boys (plus one nephew) up to Baltimore (1.5 hour drive in the rain) to Charm City Skatepark, an indoor skatepark in a very sketch part of town.  They had a blast.  I was miserable.  It was cold and gross, I was grumpy and bringing L was a necessary but unfortunate decision.  He couldn't do anything with his scooter.  It was just too crowded for him.  The things we do for our kids though.  A was in absolute heaven.  He is sore and bruised today, but can't stop talking about it.  I think it made his Christmas break.  I just wish I wasn't so cranky and could have enjoyed it.

10.  E had a friend spend the night last night.  At. Our. House.  I know this sounds silly.  Most 15 year olds have friends sleep over all the time.  But for E to feel comfortable enough to have a friend come over is huge.  They had a great time and we didn't embarass her too much.  It helped that M spent the night over at my sister-in-law's and the boys were tired from the skate trip.  These little steps are a big deal.

11.  I held it together pretty well leading up to Christmas.  I was cheerful.  I tried to stay in the moment for the kids.  Songs sung, presents purchased and wrapped, books read, tickles and giggles had by all.  I don't think I was faking it either.  I consciously tried to feel the joy.  By Christmas afternoon, I could feel myself fraying at the edges.  The past two days have been awful.  Post-event blues I guess.  I'm also exhausted.  K left this morning for a 3 day business trip and the little girls are spending the night on Friday.  Ugh.

12.  This new life has been such a scary, wonderful and difficult journey.  This Christmas was better than last year.  I got through it.  I even had a good time at some points.  The kids had (and are having) a great holiday.  Fun is being had by all with new skateboards, the LeapPad, Wii games, etc.  I thank all of my readers for wonderful holiday wishes.  Even if I haven't commented individually, I have enjoyed reading about all the fun my blog friends have had with their families.  It is a very special time of the year and I'm glad my heart was able to feel the love and happiness more than last year. 

A (belated) Very Merry Christmas to Everyone!


  1. I am glad to hear that this year was better than the last. Hope next year continues to bring peace and healing.

  2. What an excellent list! Happy New Year to all of you.

  3. Love you list and that it was an overall good Christmas! Here's to a peace-filled new year :)

  4. Hi Peg! As I'm sure you realized, I took a bit of an internet break there around Christmas and New Years--but I'm back! :o)

    Year two was easier for us as we had already done one Christmas without Hannah and had some idea of how it was going to go. The thing about that new "normal" is it sneaks up on you, it's a gradual process. You don't realize it's happening, it just does. There's no big "Aha!" moment, it's more a matter of baby steps and small events that all add up to one big fat change that you don't realize has occurred until you sit and ponder it.

    I think that's what is going on with you and the girls. I'm pleased to hear E is doing so much better. 15 is such a difficult age anyhow, I'm sure this all compounds it so much more.

    I'm sorry there were those crappy moments mixed in with the good--the in-laws and C usurping your gift to M (ARGH! That one would have set me off big time), but I'm happy there was so much good. :o)

    And, HOORAY L! What a BIG BIG BIG milestone! I couldn't be happier for you! YAY!! :o)

    I wish you even smoother days in 2012 as that what is "normal" continues to change and evolve.

    Hugs to you!