Tuesday, February 3, 2015

15

M turns 15 today.

 
She is funny.
 
 
She is fun to be around.
 
 
She works hard to have a positive attitude and do her best despite all her life challenges.

 
She is very loved by her cousins (brothers).
 
We are having a pretty low key celebration tonight since they all have school and practices tonight.  Her big sister has asked us to facetime her when we open presents since this will be the first birthday in which E won't be there.
 
It's her 6th birthday without her parents.  I've been thinking of Jeanne throughout the day.  I had a good cry about an hour ago and it felt good.  I remember sitting in the hospital with her while she persevered through labor and I sat there with my belly swollen with A.  I remember how scared she was when the doctor said she had to have a c-section and I hugged her telling her everything was going to be okay.  It is still mind boggling to me that I'm raising that cute little baby now and regularly have to reassure her that everything IS going to be okay despite car accidents, ADHD and anxiety disorder.
 
 
It's strange that it's starting to feel like I can't imagine our life without her, while at the same time being disbelief that I am mothering her now.  Her mommy loved her so much.  I hope I'm doing right by both of them.

6 comments:

  1. You are. You are doing an amazing job in the face of incredible challenges. Happy birthday to M!

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  2. Happy birthday to M. It is a mind-blowing realization taking you from her birth to the reality of now, but yes, I would say that the photographic evidence shows a girl who is loved by her aunt doing the best job she can do.

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  3. Happy Birthday to M!

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  4. You're doing amazing. Look a that incredible girl! I hope she has a lovely birthday.

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  5. Lovely post. The fact that you can't imagine your life without M shows in itself that you are doing right by her and your sister. X

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  6. Oh Peg, you are! You are doing right by them. You love them and you have boundaries for them. That's what every child needs most.

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