4 x 4

Sorry for the long break in writing.  Shingles is really kicking my butt and although the blisters look much better the irritation/pain and the fatigue is still there.

I turned 44 last week so here's a list of 4 good and 4 not so great things going on...

The good:
1. Soccer season has pretty much wrapped up till January.  D and L still have two indoor practices each, but they are at the same time so it's easy to handle.  D finished off the season strong after K had a frank conversation with his head coach about the way he has continued to treat our son.  He clearly pointed out all the instances where he treats D unfairly and also other coaching points for the entire team.  D knew all this was going down, and in addition to training with his big brother's team, I think this went a long way which helped with his confidence and resulted in him playing with much more swagger and not worrying about what the coach thinks.  Surprisingly, D's playing time went significantly up and the coach took into account other thoughts K had and the team played better in general.  We still think the guy is a jerk, but D is much happier which is what is most important.

2. Basketball season has started which is always just fun.  Only D and L are playing so we are looking forward to a little easier winter season.  We may actually get to see E swim some.  She had a great meet two weeks ago with 3 personal bests so she seems to be on a roll.  She is so happy and the college swim team atmosphere appears to be a good fit.

3. A made the Principal's honor roll last quarter with a 4.25 grade point average.  He was very proud and worked hard for those grades.  M also did okay considering all her challenges.  High school has been such a big switch for both of them that I'm glad they are finding their way.  It is still so hard to deal with two kids in the same grade which have such different academic expectations, but I'm figuring it out slowly but surely.

4. I have been reading some wonderful books lately.  Books have always been my much needed escape and the universe seems to have lined up perfectly for publishing some wonderful novels at a time I need them most.  K and I have also started watching House of Cards.  Wow.  We are only on season one and I can't believe where it's going to go.  It's been a nice thing for us to do together at night when we get the minions all to bed.

The not so great:
1. SHINGLES!!!  This has really sucked.  Since the blisters on my face look better, everyone expects me to be back to normal.  Doctor says it can take a while to feel better.  I wish I could carry around a doctor's note explaining that I still feel like crap.  There are moments when I just have no energy and feel like I've been hit by a Mac Truck.

2. While the blisters are going away, the reason for the shingles triggering in the first place has not gone away.  In fact, if one could stress about being too stressed, I've perfected it. 

3. Despite pretty good presents (books!) from K, my birthday totally sucked.  I had to muster up the energy to bring L to a soccer tournament 30 minutes away all day because we had nobody to do it.  At one point, I gave L my phone to play and I slept in the car for an hour.  I'm really not sure how I made it through the day.  Got home and K ordered pizza from a place E told me was good.  It was cold by the time it got home and was pretty gross.  I got a few texts from C, S and CA and have yet to get any birthday presents from any of them.  I know I sound like a baby.  It's kinda nice to have one day a year to get pampered a bit and this year I felt like it was an inconvenience to everyone.  Add on top of it that I'm officially older than Jeanne and you get a pretty crappy day.

4.  I am feeling pretty down.  Blame it on the shingles.  Blame it on the stress.  The time of year?  I am feeling a serious lack of joy right now.  The kids help with the "in the moment" periods of joy, but in the grand scheme of things I am certainly on a down swing.  I just can't seem to be able to snap out of it.  Good thing I've perfected the "faking it" for the kids.

So there's my 4 x 4.  I hope everyone is doing well and had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday.  I'm hoping on this end that I physically start feeling better and maybe that will help with my emotional state.  At this point, it can only go up right?