Hide and Seek

"Just a second honey, I need to finish up this work"

"Who are those people Mommy?  Where is that?"

I often sit on the couch working on my laptop in the afternoons and evenings.  It's a central place, where I'm accessible to the kids and, to be frank, is more comfortable than my office.

It's also my best hiding place.  I know I should be working, but the lure of the blogs is too strong.  I hide from my own life of drama and stress into the lives of others.  I love to read of the rhythms of their every day lives.  Snapshots of their families and stories.  I get wrapped up in their sorrows and joys, while at the same time trying to escape mine.  I've made friends in this secret hiding place.  Sometimes it feels like the only comfort in my day.

I often feel guilty about this secret life and the amount of time I spend reading.  I haven't told many people in my real life about my blog, although I often mention to others about the blogs I read.  I don't think any of them understand how much I rely on those blogs to help me get through the day.  Little moments of inspiration or thoughtfulness to give my life some perspective.

My blog reading isn't just about hiding.  I know it's also a manifestation of my need to seek some meaning in my life.  Trying to find vestiges of the old Peg who walked surefooted through her days of motherhood, marriage and family.  Seeking friendship and support.  Looking for the means to walk upright in my life that has been completely turned upside down.

My kids love to play hide and seek.  Little do they know, the master is sitting right beside them on the couch.