The little kids (A, M and D) started school today. We've now got 2 6th graders and a 4th grader. E starts her sophomore year in high school tomorrow. L doesn't start preschool for another few weeks. The kids did fine today. A and M were pretty nervous about starting middle school and so far, so good.
I haven't posted in a few days. I've been pretty overwhelmed by the impending start of school and the chaos that comes with it. That and a little earthquake and hurricane scare have created a little bundle of stress in the pit of my stomach.
I don't want it to start. I don't feel ready to go back into the stress of homework, practices, driving, etc...
Swim team made me feel like we didn't really have a summer until it was over. The respite I wanted for this summer didn't come to fruition. My dining room is filled with junk. Our office is still in shambles. My plans for organization are still on the back burner. I'm just not ready.
I'm so glad I've got therapy tomorrow--I've been off for 2 weeks and I could use it.
I create posts in my head all the time, but they never seem to make it to the screen. I know this space is for me to write about what's going on with me, but I also worry about coming off as such a whiner. I'm so conscious about being the "debbie downer" amongst our friends and neighbors that it seems to have permeated this space.
I feel trapped in this never ending marathon and I don't want to be in the race. I think this rambling post reflects that. I'll try to do better tomorrow.
You know, for years I tried to keep a journal. I liked the idea of recording things I thought and did that I would otherwise forget in years to come. But the problem was the only time I had to write was when I was sad and alone. So everything in the journal was sad alone stuff, and didn't reflect my life well. If I was happy and busy I didn't have time to write, so those things didn't get recorded.
ReplyDeleteI always figure this space is for you to turn to when you need to get your difficult thoughts out. It's not whining. It's relief, and processing. Don't worry about what any of us think. Do what you need to do and we will put it in context.