Weekends in our house used to be a time of respite. Yes, we did have sports activities and parties but we also sprinkled in there naps and just hanging around the house relaxing, playing and laughing. Nowadays, our weekends are just a continuation of the marathon. This weekend in particular is ridiculous. Three soccer tournaments (all at different locations) and a swim meet. E also has two graduation parties and starts her life guarding job. Somewhere in there everyone also needs to get to mass and finish homework. We are getting help, but that actually adds a whole level of stress and guilt needing help from my family.
Today is just one of those days that I want my life back. I know it's not very healthy to go there mentally. I miss our old family. I miss our lazy weekends. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself and tired. It's been a rough couple weeks and I could use a break. Sigh.
Your comment on my latest post tugged at my heart, so I had to send you a note. I'm thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI have a couple girlfriends who became step-mamas to older children (13 and 9) and we have had many talks about it. One of the big things is, they wound up with "Instateen" and "instatween"--they didn't have the kids from birth so there was no gradually evolving to this place, it was just instantaneous teen/tween girl drama.
ReplyDeleteYou are in the same boat. Had you had a family of five kids from the get go, this would all be "normal". It's that "new normal" thing again.
i don't blame you for longing for your old weekends. Not only would you have that laziness, you would have your sister back and everything would be as it was before.
I used to wish I could get a "redo" on that Thursday with Hannah. You know "redos", right? When we were little kids playing kickball, if we didn't like the kick, we would cry out "REDO!" I wanted that "redo".
I get it.
Hang in there. Hugs.
I think many of us go through less extreme versions of this all the time. There are moments I want the freedom that came before kids, or the life where I saw my brothers and friends regularly, or the life where I could call my grandma before she passed away. It's not wrong to long for the good things. I'll bet you anything there will come a point when you look back at moments happening right now and wish for them again, too. Or at least be able to look at it all with some distance and feel better about it.
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